Race and gender

Ha. So in my life I have never ever had so much appreciation for stereotypes. Never! I think this will probably be the closest I ever come to understanding what its like for African Americans in the U.S., or Arab-Americans, or Asian women. Etc. I never knew!
So what is the problem here and why does it exist? Because of stereotypes, which like all stereotypes exist for a very good reason. There are alot of swahili men with a very practical outlook in regards to money and future, and alot of tourists,-on vacation therefore out for a thrill, and alot of underconfident white women wishing for love in the world. And the combination of these 3 factors leads to a stereotype about the real reason white women come to zanzibar that outside of my village and 5km surrounding is rather impossible to break in all but an experienced few. (Before venting my frustrations on the matter it should be noted how I very much love my immediate surroundings, treasure the people, and treasure the respect I recieve at the school...its just outside of that 5km radius where things get frustrating)
For more than one reason I hate it. I hate it, cause after 1 year and a half almost of enduring it I am dead tired of it. I hate it cause I am in almost a constant state of aggression to get respect despite the double whammy of being white and female (there's no such thing as mzungu privilege here) and I am a person who likes to please, I like people to like me. I worry that I won't be able to step back from this aggressive response to life when I get back in the states and already it invades my normal life in ways I don't like. And I hate it because it makes me stereotype in response too. Any swahili male approaches and I instantly adopt an icy stand-offish attitude if they are friendly. And once in a while I think its so possible that they are just being nice, but what will they see? They'll know that white women are rude only. And yet what can I do otherwise given the situation. The fact is nothing, and that is a hard decision (at least for me) to come by. (Which by the way is something I notice in general. I feel like Africa, or at least Zanzibar and Tanzania, is the land of the hard decisions. Where, some 1st world morals get waysided for the general good....or at least its hard to say your decision was right or wrong, only you can say that it needed to be made...but maybe thats life, and I'm only seeing it now)

And yet as maddening as the experience has been at times I know its positive in some ways too. The buddhists are right about some things. Suffering can be so positive in its educational quality. Its not like I read about racial stereotypes in a book. Its not like a teacher involved me in an activity to talk about gender roles, or I did a report on it. The kind of experience i gain here is incalcuable in its depth of understanding. I know what its like and I could never again have anything but empathy for the frustrations and anger that different groups have against stereotypes and assumptions. Especially immigrants, god bless the strength they must have to do what they do. I mean its SOOO true, just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there. It really really REALLY doesn't. You talk to a PC guy and he might tell you this friend he knows is really great!, and then you talk to that same PC guy's female friends and they'll tell you a completely different story bout this "friend". And this guy only realizes his "friend" is alittle rude to women, not the extent, cause this "friend" doesn't act like that around him so much.
Now obviously this is Zanzibar not America. But after living here, gaining this knowledge about assumptions acted out by people based on race and gender, and having different people...(men, sorry dudes) doubt my experience, or minimize it, because they've never had such a problem or noticed it, it has made me take a hard look at my previous attitude in the states about how much race at least affects things in the states. Not saying I know what its like too be black in the U.S., I'm saying specifically now that I don't know, and I won't assume to know anymore.
On another note, how bout an interesting story about 1st world, 2nd world and 3rd world. According to what I've heard now these are not accurate terms to describe developing and developed countries. After all, ever notice how theres no 2nd world countries?
So where they come from is the cold war apparently. 1st world was U.S. and all its allies, 2nd world was Soviets and all their allies, 3rd world was everybody else. Only now there's no 2nd world and I've notice that basically everyone who embraced western culture...aka u.s. canada and western europe tends to be 1st world, and everyone else, something else. Though its changed some now with asian countries doing better. But anyway, better term is developing countries and developed.

But thats all I got for now!
Also HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATE!!!!
and Mom!!! :)