Culturally Appropriate

So my latest struggle is to try to define where being culturally appropriate ends and abandoning my own standards begins. And its interesting. So this week has been full of some 1sts and one or 2 seconds and thirds and just too manies.

First of all, first time someone has put some real effort into trying to convert me to Islam. Well its more what they thought was a real effort but which if they knew me would know it is more likely to turn me off than on. I was having a really interesting religious conversation with my students. Its something I've side stepped for the most part till now, cause there is so much potential there for misunderstanding, and also me knowing they are so conservative I don't wanna be accused of attempting to put my beliefs on someone else. And yet its a conversation that I've wanted to have for some time because really, when am I going to be in such a position again to get a chance to understand such different beliefs. Anyway, the discussion and sharing effectively ended the second time one of the more opinionated of the students told me he wanted to see me converted to Islam so that at the judgement day I wouldn't be found in the pit with all the sinners being punished for having rejected God. I told him, I was glad he cared for his teachers so much to worry about their immortal souls and then the bell rang and we left. I considered it a good time to leave since the conversation was turning distinctly from academic to personal issues. I found it fascinating but I know for sure I was starting to get into dangerous waters when he brought it up the second time, and so I was glad to end it there.
Also this week have gotten more than one run in with the mzungu price, which hasn't happened lately. The issue is when they see you are white and you are riding the dalla (local buses) or trying to do anything which involves money, likely they will try to jack the price up a bit on you if they can. For example the price to get to the local tourist place is 1500 shilings on the dalla. But if you are a white person and you don't know and ask, they will likely tell you 2000 or 3000. Or if you give them 1500 they will say that you have not paid the full price and it has gone up. Then when you tell them no, and that you know its only 1500 they all laugh hilariously and agree and *usually* let it go. The thing is, getting asked to pay a different price because of my skin color really does tick me off sometimes. Especially when I've lived here for a good while and am working in the schools trying to help people. Its hilarious to them though, and everytime they laugh and even when I'm in a good mood I do recognize that it does bother me. It has stopped now for the most part, because they know me. And in the end, I do realize they are poor and its not just white people, but anyone who doesn't know that they'll try to take advantage of. Because they must. Being high-minded about such things is more a luxury of people who don't worry about what they'll eat tomorrow. The only people who really tick me off are those that even when you say the right price, they still won't give it to you. To try to take advantage of ignorance is one thing, but to deny the truth or rather be fully prepared to charge different cause of skin color is something else entirely. Anyway.
The third cultural run-in I've had this week has to do with sex. Yes it has been the full triple threat this week, me disagreeing with people over issues involving religion race and sex! So I was on a dalla (local bus) and I was just outside the parking lot and I wanted to get off and another guy did too apparently. Cause at the stoplight he ups and hops off real quick and I make to do the same and people grab me and try to stop me. And we're still at this stoplight. And I'm like, excuse me I just need to get off, just like the guy just a second ago who no one cared if he did it. And they are like "no wait". And I say "that guy just did it and no one cared', and they said "for women its dangerous". Ok so its not that my judgement was wrong about us being stopped, and quite near a parking lot and the cars going slow. My judgement was wrong because I didn't realize that my gender somehow hinders me from quickly hopping out of a car. I know I know. Its a small thing. But really the way to keep me even tempered isn't to tell me that I can't do something not because its dangerous, or that I'm not strong enough, but because I'm the wrong sex. And really, I think the small things do count. But I probably wouldn't mention it were it not for what happened later. I have been eating beans and rice at a little local dive after school each week, because its only 400 shilings (40 cents) for lunch there, which is a great price, and its really close, and a good meal and I don't have to cook. Anyway, one day this place was closed so I tried to go next door and everyone shooed me out. I figured it was some wierd muslim thing and wasn't thinking about it and went somewhere else. Well this eating out beans and rice for lunch has been going on for about 2 weeks now, and my headmaster tells me yesterday, that it would be better if I got a container and took the beans and rice to go and ate at my house. He reminded me that the only people I've ever seen eating at these little huts are men. Now I'm not an idiot, I know, being female its not ok to go out alone to eat at night, but being unable to eat lunch for 20 minutes in the broad daylight of the afternoon crosses the line for me. Now all those people shooing me out makes sense, they weren't going to serve me. Cause I'm a woman. The peculiar mixture of embarrasment and anger this incenses, is interesting. So I've decided as long as one of the beans and rice places decides to serve me, I probably will ignore this cultural custom. On the one hand its a compliment to be considered integrated enough to care about the norms of the society, on the other hand, not being of that society I think means I don't necessarily have to follow such dictates.
So there you have it, cultures are different. What is wrong in one culture is funny in the next, religions are similar in some aspects wherever you go, and my feminist streak is requiring me to eat beans and rice outsidee. Entertaining week.

Love all, and don't think too negatively, just notice the difference. They don't have the same values as us. They treasure what they do treasure, but not the same things as us.

Have a good week all!